Balance, rest, taking time to enjoy life is making a difference in my overall mental health. Still, when I am taking the time I need, I am fighting off the voices telling me I am not doing enough, am lazy or am slacking.

But, when balanced, I am finding that my focused time working is much more productive and efficient.

I am continuing meeting with Trisha every couple of weeks but preparing to move into some trauma counseling hoping to heal the past traumas so I don’t need this toolbox of reactive coping skills. That whole transplant thing left me carrying some pretty big bags. It’s time to let them go.

Our little church is struggling with some big financial battles. Ends are not meeting. Why? My mind has me taking the blame. “It’s my fault we don’t have enough to pay our bills. If I were a better pastor this wouldn’t be a problem.” Yes, faulty thinking has me taking on burdens and carrying them around. This week I started wondering if I should resign so the church can be successful. Pretty silly, I know.

God will provide, somehow. We’re doing the things he wants us to do. Faith is trusting in him to provide not me to solve all problems.

This past week we attended a ballgame with numerous organ recipients. It was good for me to have out with other miracles. I thought, “what am I doing wallowing? I’ve been given a great gift! It was a good reset for me.

I will keep plodding forward thankful that God is patient and confident that he is healing me and restoring me. I was excited to preach this past Sunday. That’s a very good thing!

Thanks for your prayers for me through this mental journey. Some days I feel the setbacks are bigger than the gains, but I know that’s a lie. Balance is beginning to set my mind right.