Thursday I head back to Lahey

What a couple weeks it has been! This liver disease ride is a roller coaster. A couple weeks ago I was still carrying around 20 extra pounds of fluid. Today, after medication boosts, I am back down to 208. Back then, my lungs were drowning and I had no energy. Now, I’m not coughing all the time but I am as nauseous as a sailor during his first storm. As weird as it sounds, I think I prefer the coughing.

Last Wednesday my local GI doc called to tell me my liver numbers are getting worse and he wants me to go back to Lahey to meet with my transplant doctor. I called thinking they’d squeeze me in during January. You know how scheduling doctor visits goes. No, 7 days later they want me in there. I’m glad they are seeing me so soon. Nervous but glad.

A local TV channel called me to do a story. I’m not a fan of hype so I almost said I’d pass. But, I figured, “What the heck do I have to lose?” 90 minutes of being interviewed and talking about the need for organ donors, how blessed we have been by our Faith and the support of others, the transplant process and needing to sell our house, got boiled down to about a minute. Robin and I gasped when we heard the teaser at the top of the broadcast which said, “a local man must sell his house or face certain death.” YIKES!

Our conversation of lost equity and the need to sell at the current price in order to provide a down-payment to purchase a much smaller home we can afford on Robin’s salary was reduced to us being left with nothing by selling at this price.

Wow. I watched and felt pretty bad. I know our situation is bad but it is not hopeless.

Then, lastly during these eventful last couple of weeks, I gave in and applied for Social Security Disability Insurance. That was a tough blow to my independence but I had to admit that I have been unable to work a regular job in 7 months and there’s no indication that I will work again soon. Sure, I’ve been paying social security for 30 years but I still have trouble wrapping my mind around getting a check for laying on the couch.

Emotionally? I’m fighting depression. People tell me that’s normal. Really? That doesn’t do much for me.

Mentally? I have a tough time focusing.

Spiritually? Dry. I’ve got books on how to live and how to die. I’ve got pile of bible verses. It sounds terrible, but I am having a tough time praying and reading verse after verse. But I know God is present and I know that He has time and patience with me. I am amazed how He provides for a whiner like me.

I like roller coasters. I don’t like roller coasters that jerk me around continuously for 7 months.

We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering: it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person …… the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus. –Oswald Chambers

 

 

About Scott Linscott

Living life to the fullest, walking in the dust of my Rabbi, creating art through photography and written word, speaking words of hope and encouragement at conferences, workshops, church and civic gatherings.
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3 Responses to Thursday I head back to Lahey

  1. Scott,
    Don’t ever give up. Everything you are feeling is a normal thing for anyone no matter how big or small the situation to the outside eye may look. This is a big situation for you and your family and loving friends. You have helped touch and reach many people. You have givien me the the strength to find the strength within myself or trust in the power of the lord to let life take its course. If it wasn’t for what you have taught me in the last 7 months I have been reconnected with you then I would me a pile of poop right now. I would have never made it through this miscarriage that should have been over with 4 weeks after I had to have surgery, but instead I am being taken into the operating room again on Monday 14 weeks later because the doctors did not get it all. With out your words of wisdom and you helping me learn to trust in the lord, I would not have been able to conquer the battles I am facing today while getting all A’s in my college classes. I thank you for that and I want you to know never give up. I will continue to pray for you. Hugs Keeps your head up and think of Bradyns little smile. He talks about you all the time and misses you so much. When you are well enough and I am well enough we will have to make it up there to see you. Love you Always.
    Andrea ,Bradyn, Beau, and Belle

  2. Judi says:

    Scott, you do not know me. Michelle Koerner and my daughter were room-mates at Eastern College. I feel that I know you because Michelle has talked about you for years. I understand a little bit about what you are going through as I was a kidney donor for my sister. I have been reading your blogs and they have blessed me. I have also been in the place where I could not pray for myself any longer. It was then that my brothers and sisters in Christ stood in the gap for me. Let us do that for you now. You are in my prayers.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Scott,
    We are praying for you! HUGS!

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