Slogans. Mottos. Most businesses have them. It’s stuff like, “Service with a smile” or “We don’t spit in your tacos.”

I could probably quiz you on famous and well-known slogans and you would do well. Try some.

Just do it –
I’m lovin’ it –
Taste the rainbow –
Can you hear me now –

How did you do? Slogans identify products or services. They are pretty effective.

Robin and I have had a long-running joke about a personal slogan. We’ve even talked about starting a business. So many times we show up at an ice cream stand, restaurant or store and see no one in line. As soon as we get to the counter there is an instant line. I am not lying.

The other night we went to the local ice cream stand. It was near closing time and a bit chilly outside. When we drove in there was no one there except for one older couple huddled on a bench eating their ice creams. We stepped up to the window to place our order and cars started pulling in. By the time we had our cones there were 12 people in line behind us.

We looked at each other, shrugged our normal shrug and simultaneously said our slogan, “we bring the line.” Seriously, it happens all the time!

Today, after my liver biopsy, we are considering adding a second slogan that we hear all too frequently, “I’ve never seen that before.”

I was nervous about having a core sample taken from my liver despite having a lot of people tell me to relax and “give it to God” and all those things people say. I’m not a fan of being poked by sharp things. I don’t like it at all so it makes me nervous. I think that makes perfect sense.

We walked into the room where I would have my biopsy. That’s when I met the Asian version of Mr. Magoo. He didn’t inspire confidence.

“You have liver transplant from deceased?” he asked.

I knew we were in this special room with an ultrasound machine only because I was a living donor recipient. I kinda wanted him to know that too but he seemed to know less about it than I did. I’m sure it was just my perception since he, as a fellow, clearly knows what he’s doing.

I did my best to follow his use of the English language while he explained what would happen to me and asked some more questions. He had me stretch out on a sheet of butcher paper on a medical table while he started getting things ready. He seemed pretty nervous as he walked back and forth from one side of the room to the other like he was looking for something.

Then one of my favorite docs, Dr. Mohammed Akoad, poked his head in to check on me with a smile. I felt relief instantly because Dr. Mo is awesome. I was glad that Dr. Mo would be coming to my rescue and Mr. Magoo would, as a fellow, apparently be watching.

And then Dr. Mo left and closed the door. I don’t often see concern on Robin’s face but I could see it now. She was thinking the same thing I was. “Uh oh.”

The nurse started giving Dr. Magoo suggestions and seeming to gently direct him. He kept bumping into his little rolling metal tray of instruments. “Would you like me to put your tray near where you will be working?” she hinted.

“No. No. This fine here,” he answered, fumbling for something. At this point the nurse was starting to look like a worried person pretending not to worry.

Thankfully a couple of cute ultrasound technicians came in to mark out my liver and draw a target between two ribs. They lightened the mood and made small talk. But then, they left and Dr. Magoo came toward me.

He didn’t say much of anything so the nurse told me I’d start feeling the sting of the local numbing agent. I did.

Dr. Magoo asked, “How you feel?” I told him I felt pressure but okay. And then, he came too close to one of my ribs and made me yelp.

“Ok, ok, you ok?” he asked. And then he jabbed it in again further and harder. This time I jumped and yelled loud enough that I thought people in the waiting room might have heard me.

Robin’s hand was being crushed by mine and the nurse had a pained look on her face.

“Ok, ok, sorry, sorry. How you feel?” “That hurt,” was my reply but what I meant was, “that hurt like a needle going into my freaking rib!”

Now I was really nervous. Dr. Akoad was clearly not going to come to my rescue. It was Robin, me, Mr. Magoo and our clearly unnerved nurse left now to take the liver sample. All I could think about was all the “just give it to God” people and how I wanted to jab them in the ribs with big needles.

Then my nurse smiled and said, “all done.” I think my blood pressure dropped 20 points with those words.

While I lay there, Dr. Magoo started scurrying around cleaning up. At one point he knocked the aluminum tray off his little table with a loud crash. He was clearly having a tough day too. I’m sure he was upset about causing me such pain.

Then, when we were leaving, we heard our potential second slogan like we have heard so many times before. Our nurse apologized and said the familiar words, “I’ve never seen that happen before.” Weird stuff always seems to happen to me. Im exceptional.

It was one of those days. On our drive down we were randomly selected from the flow of traffic and presented with a $264 speeding ticket; 63 in a 50 MPH construction zone. People were passing us and we were behind a tractor trailer truck but we were the lucky ones. I hate to see my wife cry. Sometimes life just seems to pour it on, huh?

Now we wait for the pathology lab for two days so we can learn what is happening with my liver. Two more days of waiting. Ugh.

But, even though the rain fell, good stuff happened today too. Pom was well taken care of by our kind neighbor, the blood lab got my vein on the first try and we shared cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. I heard from tons of people who are praying for me. I am alive and have a great life. I’ve started a new assignment as interim pastor at FBC Westbrook and am planning and dreaming again with new purpose.

Yes, officer friendly gave us a ticket. Yes, a med student had a tough day and I reaped the results. But, so what? No one ever said life would be easy.

While we wait for the news we are blessed. And then, no matter what the news, we will still be blessed. With my God, my life is a win/win.

Matthew 5:45 … He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong.