I remember when I updated my blog daily. Now, I’m not sure what to write. That’s a good thing. Not much has changed. I’ve been living life, staying busy, rebuilding my photography business.
We celebrated an awesome week in Florida and I gained a new daughter. I stood on a beautiful beach and pronounced Josh and Kristen husband and wife. Joy tears were continuously just an instant away and seemingly limitless.
I rode roller coasters, walked theme parks and laughed big laughs with my other two children and their significant others for a week straight.
Liver stuff? Wait? Did I have a transplant? Oh yeah, I remember that. But I’m now at the point where I don’t remember it every day. Most days I am now just like everyone else. That’s a miracle.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there are still days when I know I am forever different. I have days when I don’t feel well but rather than just think, “I’ve got a bug” like everyone else, I wonder, “Is it coming back? Is it happening again?”
This past week I’ve felt off for a few days. I told Robin that I get scared and, being honest, I told her that if they told me I need another transplant that I would “drive my car off a bridge.” My stomach turns just thinking about going through all that again. Relax, I’m fine and I’m sure next week’s blood work will be perfect again but still, when I feel familiar nausea, I worry. I’m human. Robin, being my little rock, told me she’d take away my keys and said I had no choice IF I got sick again and we’d handle it. How the heck can this woman be so strong???
A little nagging injury has kept me off my bicycle for about a month now. I’ve got an appointment with a surgeon this week. Yeah, surgeon. Since I’m honest here, I’ll just let ya know that my bike seat is particularly painful at the moment because of a minor issue. Geez, I know, right? Can I get a break??? haha I feel bad for bum doctors. Who the heck chooses proctology for a career?
“Hey Johnny, what do you wanna be when you grow up?”
“I want to be a bum doctor and spend all day with hemorrhoids and fissures! That would be swell!”
Insomnia has made a reappearance. It’s 4:30 now. Since 2:00 AM I’ve goofed around on Facebook, made my dog a Facebook page, chatted with other insomniacs and now am blogging. My mind just won’t shut off.
Pressures. We all have them. While my photography business is rebuilding, our financial pressures have continued to increase. So, I lie awake wondering what kind of work I can do to make an actual living after having been a pastor for my whole career. I know I can make a living with my photography but our smaller house cost me my studio space so November through March is pretty sparce. I’m hoping to build up my virtual tour real estate side of the business. Four tours a week would do it.
In the meantime, heating season is right around the corner and bills have to be paid. So, I lie awake wondering how to pay them. I hate seeing my wife working 2+ jobs and being underemployed like millions of other Americans today. I know, lots of us are doing the same thing in this economy. I continue to pray for direction and answers for what I’m supposed to do. On the positive side, the wedding side of my business is getting strong word of mouth even though senior portraits have been strangely lacking. I know it will work out and I know my God has a plan.
I hear the rain starting to fall outside. 4:40 just brought the newspaper delivery driver speeding through the neighborhood. I think I’ll head back to bed to see if my eyes will close.
Pray for me and I’ll pray for you. Perhaps the peace we chase will replace the worry and anxiety.
Life is good even with the normal pressures. I mean, things could always be worse. I could be a proctologist!