Breasts, boobs, ta-tas, the girls, honkers, headlights …

My person said if I get $1000 in sponsors he'll take me to Magic Kingdom!

My person said if I get $1000 in sponsors he’ll take me to Magic Kingdom!

Why would I write a blog post like this? Am I out of my mind? I mean, some people are offended, some are mad, some are laughing and some are now worried about my eternal security, all because of breasts.

But, no matter what your mood, you decided to open this email or click the link and you are reading. That was my main goal because, as we Mainers say, this is “wicked” important.

Most of the population thinks about boobs several times a day, right? Men and women notice boobs everywhere. Advertisers use boobs to sell their products and clothing manufacturers design clothes to show off boobs. Now, compare that to livers. What???

Livers get no love. Boobs get pro athletes to wear pink shoes on national television. What do livers get? They get no attention. It’s sad, really. You won’t ever hear, “Woah, nice liver you got there!” coming from a construction site.

I get it. I know why why pink shirts and ribbons are common. Breast cancer is a huge, well-funded concern and it should be. Hey, I’m a fan of breasts. I’ve got nothing against them and I hate breast cancer. I hate ALL cancer!  I’m just asking that we show the liver a little love.

I’m hoping to convince you to root for the underdog for just one day. Help the runt of the litter. Be the type of person who gives a kid on a swing a push to get him started.  Poor livers just hang out filtering every drop of blood getting no credit at all. No one ever thinks of them … until they stop working.

Sunday morning I’ll be walking 3.5 miles in the Portland Liver Life Walk to benefit the American Liver Foundation. It’s wicked important. Last June 2 I could barely walk 350 feet! Now that a liver transplant saved my life and I’m doing great, livers are pretty important to me.

My liver is a little upset at the moment because even though I’ve let my 1400 friends on Facebook in on it, asking them to help, and even though I have tweeted to the universe and sent out a blog post to my 5000 subscribers, only 3 people have chipped in to help us meet our fundraising goal. Uh huh, that’s right, three. I’m one of the three.

My liver knows that if he were a set of boobs he would get more attention. I’ve been trying to reason with him and explain why more people support breasts but he doesn’t get it. He feels left out and underappreciated.

He asked me to take a picture of him holding a sign that says, “My person said if I get $1000 in sponsors he’ll take me to Magic Kingdom.” I think he got the idea from Facebook kids wanting puppies for a million “likes.” I told him I don’t like those things because they make me feel manipulated. He insisted though. I don’t ever want to have an angry liver on my hands again so I did it.

I’ve got less than 48 hours to reach my goal of $1000. My liver and I are begging you to help. Plus, Josh is getting married in Florida on July 28 so I will actually be able to take my liver to Magic Kingdom if his sad little sign works.

Liver research saved my life. Please click the link below and support Robin and I in the walk by giving a donation of $5, $10, $15, $5,000,000 or whatever you want to give. Your gift will put a smile on my liver’s lobe. (He only has one lobe. It’s a transplant thing. Shhh… he’s sensitive about it.)

Click here to give a gift.

PS – We’d LOVE to have you walk with us! Registration starts at 9:00 am Sunday at Payson Park, in Portland. The Boulevard is closed to car traffic so you’ll have to enter the park on Ocean Avenue

Are you an organ donor? Please register now at

About Scott Linscott

Living life to the fullest, walking in the dust of my Rabbi, creating art through photography and written word, speaking words of hope wherever and whenever the opportunity arises.
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