You know that used, crumpled towel? That’s me

Ugh. Just ugh.

The used beach towel, moist, frayed and laying in a heap. It smells a little musty. Got the picture? That is what I feel like today. I’ve got no energy. I am just feeling, well, blah … Is that even a feeling? I’m not sure.

Mentally, I’m a little freaked out. My faith is stretched tight. I think that’s because of the $15,000 medical bill that came Friday. The good news is that my $15,000 deductible is met. That bad news is $15,000. It’s like a fuzzy, foggy dream. All I can do is pray. No steady job, my house isn’t selling, medicines … I’ve been in a hole before. This one’s deep. And someone is throwing dirt in! All I can do is throw up my hands and say, “Okay God … I’m at the breaking point here.”

Have you ever had a situation that is so far beyond you being able to solve that you have to laugh? Yeah, I’m there.

Tomorrow night we’ll be enjoying the blessing of friends and sitting at Fenway Park. Free tickets, free parking. There is no way we could even begin to afford that. But then, God provided one of my favorite things in the world through people we have never had the time to get to know well. It’s like a little nudge where I hear my Jesus saying, “Hey, trust me, I’ve got you.”

I know He does. I just have no idea why.

It’s time to pull the crumpled towel of myself off the floor, eat some food I’m not hungry for (doctor says I have to eat) and push forward into today. I ‘m thankful for the shot of adrenaline that will come this afternoon when my Axis Church friends gather to laugh at Kung Fu Panda 2 and then make some dinner together. (Axis Church

Today is the day that God made, I WILL choose joy and be thankful for it!

About Scott Linscott

Living life to the fullest, walking in the dust of my Rabbi, creating art through photography and written word, speaking words of hope and encouragement at conferences, workshops, church and civic gatherings.
This entry was posted in chronic illness, discouragement, facing death, Fatty Liver Disease, Lahey Clinic, NASH, organ donation, transplant. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to You know that used, crumpled towel? That’s me

  1. Cathy & Jim Napier says:

    Scott,
    We heard that you have not been feeling well and we want to send every prayer and good wishes to you and your family. We haven’t seen each other very much but you are still very much a friend and we love you. We were going to go get checked to see if we were matches but I read the requirements and we missed a few.We are both diabetics and take a lot of meds. If we could, we would get things going today. Our prayers are with you always. Please if you need anything or if we can do anything for you just yell and we will be there.God has your back because he desperately loves you and you have worked for him tirelessly. You are his kid.We love you and you are a good man.
    Cathy & Jim

  2. Dale Prue says:

    I pray that you are feeling better and have enjoyed fellowship with friends and family; thinking of you at the Red Sox game tonight – ENJOY!!

  3. Gary says:

    Your memory, family, friends, and pastor will give you the Scriptures to buoy you. How’s about if I say, “Thanks. Your courage reflects His strength and hope when your fades.”

    If you don’t mind the dog on the end of the leash doing doggie doo things, I will aim to pray for you each time I walk her.

  4. Cookie Koerner says:

    Hello Scott, I am praying for you. Love In Christ.

  5. aunt Betty says:

    oh my Scott, I am so sorry you are feeling so over done to day. I can tell you if I come in to anymore you are 1st on my list to help. Enjoy your friends today and let your worries move on for the day. God does have your back.

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