Ugh. Just ugh.
The used beach towel, moist, frayed and laying in a heap. It smells a little musty. Got the picture? That is what I feel like today. I’ve got no energy. I am just feeling, well, blah … Is that even a feeling? I’m not sure.
Mentally, I’m a little freaked out. My faith is stretched tight. I think that’s because of the $15,000 medical bill that came Friday. The good news is that my $15,000 deductible is met. That bad news is $15,000. It’s like a fuzzy, foggy dream. All I can do is pray. No steady job, my house isn’t selling, medicines … I’ve been in a hole before. This one’s deep. And someone is throwing dirt in! All I can do is throw up my hands and say, “Okay God … I’m at the breaking point here.”
Have you ever had a situation that is so far beyond you being able to solve that you have to laugh? Yeah, I’m there.
Tomorrow night we’ll be enjoying the blessing of friends and sitting at Fenway Park. Free tickets, free parking. There is no way we could even begin to afford that. But then, God provided one of my favorite things in the world through people we have never had the time to get to know well. It’s like a little nudge where I hear my Jesus saying, “Hey, trust me, I’ve got you.”
I know He does. I just have no idea why.
It’s time to pull the crumpled towel of myself off the floor, eat some food I’m not hungry for (doctor says I have to eat) and push forward into today. I ‘m thankful for the shot of adrenaline that will come this afternoon when my Axis Church friends gather to laugh at Kung Fu Panda 2 and then make some dinner together. (Axis Church
Today is the day that God made, I WILL choose joy and be thankful for it!