What a day. I have been getting loved on by people all over the planet. Emails, Facebook, blog comments. I have barely been able to keep up.
People have asked how to pray, how to contribute and texted words of encouragement. I wish I had more answers but I don’t have any answers right now. People have asked how to get screened to see if they are a match for me. How can it be that people are telling me they are willing to go under a surgeon’s knife to give me part of their liver? How can it be?
I have heard from so many past students and families thanking me for shaping them and pointing them to Jesus. How can it be?
My sister Gail, an attorney in Florida, is working on setting up a trust fund for people who want to help us figure out how to pay $300,000 for a transplant by contributing. How can it be that people are asking about how to give?
Today my sister Gloria came down and sat with me, made me a salad and selflessly waited on me. She’s a researcher, a planner and has so many questions but, like I said, I have no answers. She kept my mind off things, made me laugh and loved on me. How can I be so blessed?
Tonight my dear friends George and Edie visited with me and encouraged me. They shared their own stories of God’s faithfulness. They gave counsel. And then, they prayed for Robin and I. How can it be that we are so blessed?
It has been a long day. I’ve laid on the couch under two or three blankets, sometimes shivering. But apart from fighting to breathe, I’ve felt good. I’ve felt God.
I wish I had answers. Tomorrow I will be speaking with Lahey Clinic to schedule our transplant journey beginning. Today my liver doctor called to encourage me and tell me he is ordering labs to watch out for my kidney function because of the diuretic I am on to drain fluid from my belly. On Wednesday my general doctor is managing to squeeze me in to see his nurse practioner because he is far too busy to see me. (Yes, you can sense that I am angry about that!) But, I know nurse practioner Kait and am comfortable with her. She will check my pneumonia and I will demand an xray to see that my lungs are clearing. Last time they told me I was clear and did not order another course of antibiotics. I’m not accepting that this time. I think I’ve developed a little bit of an aggressive attitude today.
As weird as it might sound, I sensed the Lord telling me to write through this journey. I heard Him tell me in the middle of the night in my Orlando hospital room, that He wanted me to be open and honest and pour it all out. I felt Him telling me that my journey could help others who come after who face the same stages of fear, denial, depression, hope, victory, strength and disappointment. So, I will do that praying that it might help.
Thank you so much for expressing love for me. Thank you new friends and old friends. I am truly humbled, broken and loved. I have been blessed.
If you are awaiting a transplant, please don’t give up hope. If you have no hope, please email me and pour it out. The author of my Hope is bigger than you can imagine. I’d be glad to tell you why I believe it.
Psalm 120:1 NIV I call on the LORD in my distress, and he answers me.
Keep praying that He will grant me time and stabilize me so that I can get on the transplant list.